I *Heart* the Invention of the Speakerphone

Okay. Okay. Okay.
I am dying keeping this all inside...although I have told about everyone who has asked me "How was your Christmas, Sierra?" So, I suppose I haven't been keeping it inside at all. But now it's finally time to share my story with you!
My Christmas went a little something like this:

8:15am-wake up, get ready for church
9:03am-leave for church (dad is the branch president so we had to get there early for the Christmas program)
10:00am-special Christmas sacrament meeting begins, awesome speakers and musical numbers. The spirit was super strong and it was a great start to my Christmas day!
1:00pm-Get home from church, rush to finish my gifts for my family as they all tell me to hurry up, they want to open presents
1:24pm-Open gifts
2:05pm-Hand out the poems that I wrote each one of my family members
2:08pm-Everyone is crying from the poems------>I know this sounds super cheesy...but this is one Christmas that I will never forget. It was really...special.

For the rest of the afternoon we ate deliciousness, played around with our awesome presents, and watched movies together as a family.

6:07pm-I sent a text to Seth's family "Have your heard from him yet?"
6:08pm-Promptly one minute later, I received a text message from Seth's little sister, Kaitlyn. (Love her.) It said...."The phone just rang!!!!! OMG IT'S HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I cannot even explain the emotions which were coursing through me at that point in time. For some odd reason I was nervous. Then there was a part of me was jumping with joy, knowing that they were actually on the phone with him that very minute...but another part, a bigger part, began to ache for that same reason. And my heart sank. I knew the wondrous phone call was taking place...and I was in another state. Missing it.

6:26pm-My phone began to vibrate and as I glanced down, expecting it to be a text message, I saw that Seth's dad was calling me! I literally leaped off of the couch (where I had been snuggling up to my mom, and quite honestly feeling a little sorry for myself) and ran into our bathroom.

They were going to try and let me in on the phone call!!! Seth's family put him on speakerphone and  then put me on speakerphone as well. And I heard him! I really heard him!
As the conversation continued, I barely spoke. Partly because as I sat on my bathroom counter, knees tucked up close to my chest and phone close to my ear, tears rolled down my cheeks. Missing him tears. Grateful tears. Because his family had been kind enough to share these precious minutes with me. Because modern technology made this possible.
But the main reason I didn't speak was because I couldn't understand a dang thing. Turns out, the whole speakerphone-to-speakerphone thing doesn't make for a very clear sound. Truth of the matter is, though, that didn't even matter. Sure I couldn't understand him, but I could hear him. I could hear his voice and I could hear his laugh. Gosh. I missed that laugh.

At one point in time his little brother held a helicopter that he got for Christmas up to the phone and said, "Seth! Guess what this is?!"
And then there was that laugh again.
*Sigh*
Am I an ol' sap? Why yes. Yes I am.

His timer got screwed up so we didn't know exactly how much time we had left to talk to him, and eventually his 45 minutes were up and he got kicked off. So we didn't get to say goodbye. And then I cried some more. Because I'm a baby like that.

Did that muffled phone conversation top off my perfect Christmas? It most certainly did. And even though a few tears were shed, this was, by far, the best Christmas that I have ever had.

I am so grateful that I was able to be a part of his Christmas phone call. His voice was exactly what I needed and it reminded me that,even though we both are focused on growing as two separate individuals right now, his mission is bringing us even closer together. I wouldn't trade that for the world.

Great News!

It's been over a week since my last post. Sorry, girls! Like I said on my other blog, I have just been spending this week with my family. And, with Christmas and leaving for AZ on Saturday and all...can ya blame me? As soon as I find the time, which will most likely be late at night or after I fly into Phoenix, I'll update you on my glorious Christmas and the surprise I received. =) For now though, I'd just like to share some very happy news. For the first, oh, I'd say six months of Seth's mission, we didn't email at all. I'd send him some emails and once a week I'd receive the email to his family which his mom would forward me. Then he got a new mission president and somewhere around that time period we started emailing every few weeks. It was great! I figured that it was the new president that had allowed it since, as I've been told by many MGs, it depends on the mission president. (And perhaps it does. I'm still not sure.) Well turns out I was wrong because we quit emailing and in a letter he told me we actually weren't supposed to email each other. Well that was alright. It actually made me super happy that  he told me that instead of continuing to do it anyway. I'm so proud of him. =) Anyway, we haven't emailed for about two months now, give or take. But today I received a wonderful email! It said, "So i have been told that i can send you emails as long as i send them through my family." Oh happy day!! So now he can send me an email on his P-days as long as he sends it to his mom and then she to me. Isn't that great news?!? I think so too. =) 
Also, isn't he just gorgeous?

Expressions of Love&Choosing an Anniversary

Once upon a time, Seth and I didn't know when we started dating. We knew when he had our first kiss, down to the minute, but we had been "together" for quite awhile before we technically became bf/gf exclusive. So we just picked a date that was in the general time frame and called it good. Romantic, right? (We chose September 25) Well, a few weeks ago I went to send an old friend one of Elder Uchtdorf''s amazing talks via facebook message and, lo and behold, since facebook now stores all of your old IM conversations, I saw that I had sent her a message the night Seth actually asked me out! It was documented!

 sorry, folks! I cannot share such valuable information as my last name!

So, 27 months ago today, Seth and I started dating. And in honor of that I would like to share a little message with ya'll. It is adorable. And watch for the couple that talks about how he cooks dinner for her "sloppy joes and candlelight." That's Sam and Chas! She, Sam, blogs over here and they are now expecting a baby girl in June!! Super exciting!? You betcha! Anyway, here you are, enjoy!

p.s.-Seth sent me a message with little pieces of cut up paper after he heard Elder Scott's talk. He really is the best. <3

AMAZO

So, first things first, I was able to see Seth's family yesterday!! And it was wonderful. =) Love them. I'm really grateful that I was able to say goodbye to them before I leave for Arizona. And you know how I mentioned that I was going to speak? Well yesterday morning, as we drove there, I still didn't know what I was going to speak on. So I compiled a little over a half a page of scribbled notes and hoped that the spirit would guide me from there. I figured that there was no possible way that I would be able to make my talk long enough but, lo and behold, it lasted 25 minutes. Sheesh. Guess it lasted plenty long enough. I think it went pretty well though and, I'm hoping, touched at least one other person besides myself.
Also...I said that I received a letter from Seth, verdad? Well I just read it again. And I cannot even help myself. I just have to tell you guys...it was everything I needed. It reminded me that he loves me and, of course, why I love him so much. As the lovely Abby would say, it was "amazo." (Love her. So adorable.)
Something else to leave your heart with a smile: Marlee got her boy back!! I read this, and cried. I'm not even ashamed to admit that. It was adorable and made me so excited for the day that Seth returns! I am super excited for this girl and her RM Taylor. I can't even. Also, I may have to steal her idea when Seth comes home and have him add his point of view. I don't even know how he is going to react to my whole other world of blogging that I've grown to love so much. I feel like it's almost my little secret and I have a whole other group of friends just on here. I had never even considered blogging before he left so this may come as a bit of a surprise to him, but I think he is going to love it. I mean, I am gushing about him most of the time.
Also, tonight I realized that we only have a little over 2 more months to go until we reach the year mark. Wow. Time really has flown by. I guess being super busy has its perks.

Please Mister Postman

First things first, I finished finals!!!!

And, clearly, I came out alive and kickin.

With all A's.

Except Macroecon.

I got a B in that class.

But I don't feel so bad considering a fair amount failed.

So now I'm finally on Christmas break.

And this morning I moved out of my apartment. 

And cried when I said goodbye to my roommate.

I'm gonna miss her.

A lot.

Besides Seth and my family, she's my best friend.

In two weeks I'll have said goodbye to all of the above.

But that's okay.

Arizona is where I'm meant to be next semester,

and I'm gonna figure out why.

Because right now I'm not really sure.

All I know is that I prayed about this decision.

A lot.

And everything fell into place.

And I feel really good about it.

So I know  that's where I should be.

So yeah.

As nervous as I am about  this all,

I'm also pretty excited to find out why I'm meant to be there/here.

Also, I haven't received a letter from Seth in...quite awhile. 

But today I moved home for Christmas break and wouldn't you know...

there was a letter waiting for me!

It was amazing and perfect in every way.

And I'm not going to share any more of this one.

Because it is personal. 

And special.

But don't worry, I will still share sometimes!

Gosh. Sometimes I forget how much I miss that boy.

One of these days I'm going to sing this to our postman...

except we have a postmistress.

Whatever.

She'll live.

Annnd...I'm going with my mom to Seth's home ward, er..branch, tomorrow. 

(She's in the stake YW presidency)

And they asked me to speak.

Oh man.
I still need to write my talk.

Eh.

I'll do it in the morning.

Share the Love

Hey guys! I finally figured out how to make a blog button so feel free to put my button (located on the left side of my blog) on the sidebar of any of your awesomespice blogs! It would make me super happy. =)
Also, this week is finals week. So it's gonna be a killer. And I may not blog too  much. Or I may just get distracted like I am right now. We shall see.

Mormons Galore!

Sooo.....Arizona was great! I'm super excited about going down there though, from those I've seen so far, there are some crazy aggressive drivers. Which isn't a problem with just me but it'll make me nervous with two little girls on my watch...at least until I get used to it. And at that point I'm sure everything will be just dandy. The girls are 1 and 2 years old and omygoodness omygoodness. They are so stinkin cute!!! Love em. Also, I figured out which ward I'm gonna be in, Tempe 1st ya'll! Holla! There are 1500 students enrolled in institute classes in Tempe alone. Holy. Crap. I'm not gonna know what to do with myself being surrounded by so many mormons! I'm pretty excited about it though. I've never been around a lot of members. Growing up it was just my family and now that I'm in college it's just my small singles ward of about 75, 80 active members. Which I love! I am going to miss everyone here tons!! It will be a good experience though so, overall, I'm pretty psyched about it. The only downside? I have to fly down on New Years Eve and that is going to be zero fun. Because I won't know anyone yet so unless any of you are from the Phoenix/Tempe/Mesa area and would like to hang out that night, I am gonna be a total loser. 'Atta girl, Sierra!

Also, did I ever mention that I was able to spend some time with Seth's little sister Kaitlyn and his dad over the Thanksgiving weekend? No? Well I did. And it was awesomespice. And they make me smile. And I love them. =) That is all.

Stupid Windstream

Sorry for being MIA for so long. Our internet is down and being stupid and this is like the 50th time in the last 3 months so....yes. I officially strongly dislike windstream. They kinda suck. Okay. I'll try to be more positive now.
Tomorrow I fly down to Arizona with ma daddy to check things out so I most likely won't be posting for the next few days either, or maybe I will. At night. I'm not really sure yet. Anyway, if you don't here from me soon, lo siento. I'll be guest posting tomorrow over at Girls With Curls for my other blog, The Yellow Glove.
So go check it out! It'll be grand! And wish me luck with my flight and upcoming adventure! (Also with my internet problems so I don't have to go to the creepy Village Inn down the street to submit homework assignments anymore.) Ciao!

A Few Things:

1) My letter was returned. Apparently I have to fill out some stupid custom forms which I forgot about so...I'll be doing that tomorrow.

2)It's the day after Thanksgiving!!! And that means that the Christmas music can begin without a fight. I LOVE Christmas! I love the decorations, I love the music, I love the overall atmosphere, and of course I love the true meaning of Christmas. So yeah, I'm pretty excited about it. In case you can't tell.

                     a) Last Christmas I went with Seth's family to Indiana and it was amazing and I loved it. So, of course, I'll be missing him big time. However, I am excited to spend this Christmas with my family and get back into our old traditions. 

b)Yesterday, after filling my stomach with turkey and pie, we played paintball. And it was awesome and I forgot how much I liked it.

3)Left at 6 am and drove my brother, sister, her boyfriend, and our foreign exchange student to go to the Husker football game today. What's that you say? Why yes. As a matter of fact we did win. Thank you for asking. =)

4) No. I did not go Black Friday shopping. I am not crazy. I don't really like shopping in the first place let alone risking my life to do so. That's why I'm still here to write this post.

Got 'Er Done

I finally sent my letter/package thing today!! 

When he opens it he will find...

2 letters

2 paisley ties (his favorite pattern)

2 random notes

1 full memory card

It was too fat! I literally had to shove it down the chute. 

I would also like you to observe:

a)there is $2.50 worth of postage on that baby

b) how nicely it is decorated with random stickers...even though you can't really see that

(My personal favorites are the Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go stickers. I told him they were there to help his espanol in case he didn't know words like maravilloso and muy bien jaja...oh forgive my spanglish. I mean marvelous and very good haha.)

Muahaha! Probably thought i was sharing something juicy with you, didn't you?! Not a chance. This is just the shortest, last little clip I filmed before sending the SD card off to him. And you already knew I loved him so nothing new there!

Blog of a Mission President

So turns out Seth's mission president has a blog! I have started following it and President Heyman seems like a really amazing guy! I cannot wait to (possibly/hopefully) someday meet him. I love reading about experiences that Seth has previously related to me and, since Seth works in the financial office, he spends a lot of time with President Heyman. Even though he has no idea who I am, I still love to read Pres. Heyman's posts and have that connection to Seth, even if it is a minute one. I keep hoping that one of these days something about him will be posted...I know there's a lot of missionaries in the field but hey, a girl can wish. Here's to hoping!

An Evening With An Inspiring Woman

That's her with an old picture of herself. Beautiful.

Who is this incredible lady of which I speak? Well, folks, she is someone very special to me and I love her very very much. She's my great great aunt. She's 92 years old and her name is Helen. She truly is a remarkable woman. Her mind is sharp as a tack and she remembers dates and details better than I can at 20 years old. She still bowls and shoots squirrels out of her backyard with a pellet gun when they start to eat her bird food. That Aunt Helen of mine is one feisty woman.

I eat lunch with her at least once a week and I'm so grateful to have her living here in Lincoln with me! Well tonight I was suffering from another bought of being anti-social, so I decided to go visit her. We had a wonderful time! First we watched a volleyball game (she is the biggest Husker fan of all time, that's how you know she really is my homegirl) after which I helped her make her fingernails beautiful (her one hand is too shaky to do it herself). Then we ate some delish ice cream and her specialty butterscotch cookies as we played a few rounds of cards. I told her all about the latest package I'm sending Seth and asked if she would like to say something to him in one of the videos I was sending on the SD card. She is DEFINITELY pro-Seth so she said yes. (She only met him once but she really liked him and she asks about him at least once a month if not more. Also, I think she mainly likes the idea of me waiting for him because she waited for her husband as well but I'll get around to that.) That inspired me to ask her more questions about her Pete and I asked if she had any old pictures we could look at. So we went downstairs and got their wedding photos. She had a little wedding book/journal in which she'd written every detail of their 1946 wedding and as I looked through it I read them all out loud to hear. Inside this little book was the toast which one of her friends, who has since passed on, gave at their wedding and then again the same exact toast at their 50th wedding anniversary. The writing was too small for her to read, so she asked me to once again read that special toast to her. How could I refuse? It all made me so happy, but at the same time so sad. 1- I loved being able to hold those old pictures. 2- I loved seeing what she looked like. 3- It broke my heart to hear her tell of her loved ones, including her husband, who had almost all passed away.  

She continued to tell me about Pete and how she waited for him while he went away to war...4 years. Holy cow. And I thought 2 years was bad. When she reminded me she had waited that long she looked at me and said, "you have a ways to go to catch up." Haha I hope I never have to! I don't know if I could handle that long! Anyhow, she had one picture of herself waiting by an empty mailbox which she told me she had sent to him and said "I didn't get a letter today." Oh goodness, Aunt Helen. I know how you feel. So yeah, he got back from overseas and they got married and lived happily ever after and now he has been gone for over 10 years. Every time I think about her being without him for that long I just want to cry. I once asked her if she still missed him a lot...I already knew the answer. "Oh yes. That sort of thing never goes away. It gets better but..." The pain is duller now but it never completely goes away. In a sense, I knew exactly what she meant. At least I thought I did, but then I realized Seth had only been gone for 8 months and she's been missing Pete for 10 years. I am so foolish to think I know anything about how she feels. 

After our wonderful story time I had to go, i had been over there since 6:30 and it was now past 11. Before I left she told me "I was hoping you would decide not to go to Arizona...I'm really going to miss you." I walked over to her and gave her the biggest hug. "I'm going to miss you too. I love you, Aunt Helen."   "I love you too, sweetie," she said. 

As I drove away from her house with a promise of returning tomorrow after church, I said a thankful little prayer. I am grateful that I have her still on this earth with me. I am grateful for the wonderful person that she is and for all of the lives that she has blessed. "Wow, Pete,"  I thought, "You were one lucky guy to be able to spend your life with her."  Then a very distinct thought came into my mind: They're not sealed. He can't have her for eternity, at least not with the way things are now. And I decided right then and there, someday I am going to be baptized for her. And I am going to seal them together. No other temple work will ever make me so happy. (Except for possibly getting married myself.) I can only imagine how happy they will be finally being sealed! My goodness, I've never been so excited to go to the temple and I can't even do the work yet! Someday though, I am going to do it. And it will probably be one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. I can already tell.

^Some of my favorites. I can't believe I forgot to put the mailbox picture in this group!^

Aren't they just adorable in that photo on the left!?! The picture on the right she sent to him while he was overseas (you can see in the corner she wrote "I love you") and he kept it the whole way through the war and all through their marriage and now that he's gone she has it again. Talk about tragically romantic, huh?

Most important points of the night:

a) I can make it two years. She made it through four and she's still alive and kicking.

b) Once again, I am so incredibly grateful to have the gospel in my life and know that I can be sealed to all of my family, including my future husband, for all of eternity.

Poo Raisins

Yes, I realize that I have already posted tonight and yes I realize it was not even 2 hours ago but I have a story to tell so shut your face.

So I bought this memory card to fill and send to Seth...in August. It is now November and I still haven't sent it. The problem is that I lost it for awhile...and when I finally found it I watched all of the videos I had recorded onto and thought "Wow. These are incredibly stupid. There's no way I'm sending this." So I deleted them all off, and the last couple of weeks have been working on filling the card once again. Well tonight I ran out of memory!! I know this isn't usually a happy occasion, but this time it is because now I can finally mail it to him! (Plus I have some ties that have been patiently awaiting this little love package as well.) Anyway, I got so excited about being able to send the letter that I started decorating the little manila bubble envelope straight away. Then I realized I needed stickers. I already had Christ stickers because the postal workers in Argentina are thieving little guys and steal stuff out of my letters...but apparently they are superstitious as well and if you put pictures of Christ on the envelopes they won't steal your junk. (Practically as miraculous as the bread and fish thing eh?) So those stickers come in handy, but I wanted something that made him laugh. Let's be honest, as much as I love Christ, his face doesn't make me bust a gut. And that's a good thing. So I decided it was absolutely vital that I ran to the Dollar Tree right now. So I did. I got me a few different sticker books and then I decided to look around a bit. I looked for Pokemon cards for Seth, because he used to love them and I just know there's something deep inside of him just itching to hold one in his hands again. Not that he would play them on his mission, but I know he'd get a good laugh out of them. But alas, Dollar Tree doesn't sell Pokemon cards, believe me, I looked all over that store. All I found was some farm animal collector cards. Who wants to collect little cartoon drawings of farm animals? "Trade my goose for your pig." "Why would I want your goose? It can't even provide me with bacon." Also, the bulls had utters. That's not okay, city folk. Not okay.
Then I saw a pair of awesome glasses, you know, the ones with the nose attached? Yeah. These.

And I knew I had to have them.

Then as I was checking out I saw chocolate covered raisins. And I'm sorta obsessed with chocolate raisins. And it was a big bag for only $1! So I got them as well. In all of my impatience, I started to munch on them as I drove. "Yuck," I thought, "these raisins taste like poo." But I couldn't stop eating them! It's as if the disgusting poo raisins had some sort of power of me! So I choked them down all the way back to the apartment. And then I rushed back inside to blog about it.

Yes. These are the culprits.

Go Ahead. Feast Your Eyes.

 I figure it's been awhile since I've reminded ya'll how handsome my missionary is. Just thought I'd share the wealth.  (But only to a certain degree, ladies. Remember, he's still mine. haha)

My goodness look at those blue eyes! Love them. Love him.

My Plans For Tonight

It's a Thursday night...which is often one of the date nights here in good ol' Lincoln. Guess what I'm planning on doing? Curling up with a good old cup o' Postum and writing. Now, I'm not a total loser. I was asked on three different dates tonight...but I told all of them that I had other plans. Which isn't a complete lie.. It's not that I don't like dating, I do. And I'm not saying they're bad guys. They're not. I just...don't feel like it. I don't feel like dressing up all cute and acting like I care if the date goes anywhere or not. Tonight, I don't feel like making small talk or laughing at jokes that aren't very funny. So I guess I am a loser and I suppose I am slightly anti-social. Because I'm still sitting here with my laptop and my scribbled-in notebook. My roommate is gone because she, unlike myself, is on a date right now. (Which I am super happy about, by the way! She and this guy? Super cute.)  But as I was telling her goodbye and to have fun and all that good stuff I realized, as much as I don't want to do go out with any of the previously discussed gentlemen tonight...I don't want to be alone either. I want to be able to snuggle up in my warm jammies next to someone I am comfortable with. I want to sip on a hot chocolate watching a movie that makes us both laugh under a fort we made out of blankets. I want to waste the evening doing pointless things with my best friend. I want to be able to stay up late talking about things that actually matter and I want the person I'm with to understand. Tonight, I want to be able to be myself. There's only one small problem, the only people that I can do that with are my family and my missionary. And neither are here.

The Difference Between Then and Now

I've been thinking lately...It's crazy how I missed Seth when he first left and I still miss him now, but I feel completely different! I am happy! (And let's be honest, people. Those first few months? I was not a happy camper.)  I feel as if these two years apart are just as important for me as they are for him. I am nowhere near the person I was when he left 8 months ago...I'm better. I've grown so much and I can tell that he has too! I am so excited to get to know him all over again when he returns in 16 months. I love him I love him I love him. Do I know that we are going to get married and be sealed for all eternity? No. Of course I don't. But I do know that it's a definite possibility.

He knows all of my flaws and mistakes I've made in my life...and he accepts and loves me anyway. I think it's also important to note, I know that he isn't a perfect person either. We are long past that initial stage of puppy-love where omygosh everything they do is so amazing and perfect and romantic and you're floating on a pink fluffy cloud because *sigh* you were just meant to be in love. No no no...don't get me wrong, I love that stage! It's new and exciting! It's a lovely stage in the beginning of every relationship, but we're not in that anymore. We haven't been there in a long time. We've been together for over 2 years and we know very well that we aren't perfect people and we aren't a perfect couple. Yet, we love each other.

The greatest thing Seth ever did for me was encourage me to date other people when he left. It showed that he trusted me, but most of all it showed that he loved me enough to give me up if that's what would make me happy. Turns out, it was also the greatest thing he could do for himself. Now that I have dated around a little in these past couple months, I realize that there are a lot of really great guys out there. The weird thing is, I'm not attracted to any of them like I was/am to Seth. Either they don't have the characteristics and standards that I find essential or I just feel absolutely no chemistry. Or both. And I think that's because I have such high expectations for them. Sorry to say, (okay, I'm actually not very sorry at all) no one else has made the cut. This whole dating thing has made me even more sure of the one that I want and that confidence is vital. Let's face it, who I marry? That's going to be the biggest, most important decision I'm ever going to make. I want to be sure that I'm making the right choice. So far, I think I am. =)

P.S.- I got to email chat with him for a little while today...I am one happy girl.

I Still Miss Him.

Wednesday I was able to email back and forth with Seth for a little while. Some days I barely recognize the person he's becoming...We have both changed so drastically. But for the better. Hearing from him was the reassurance I've needed...Yes. I definitely still love him. I just can't remember what it was like to have him here...so sometimes I need that little reminder. Also, I was very excited because, for months before Seth left, I tried to get him to style his hair. And he refused. And I was frustrated because I knew how cute he'd look! (I already thought he was cute, but you know what I mean.) He told me that he never styled his hair and he never ever would in all of his life. Well guess what? He's started styling his hair. Ha. And now he has even asked me for more ideas about what I think would look good so I've recently become obsessed with short hairstyles for men and have sent his multiple photos for him to consider. He has been trying them out this week, at least that's what the plan was. What a cutie. =)

The next day, Thursday, Seth's dad came to Lincoln. I was able to spend some time with him and gosh, I love that man. I love how I can be very honest and upfront with Seth's parents. They know I'm dating other people and they still love me anyway and are supportive. We also talked about how much Seth loved his mission and how he didn't want to come home, which isn't always easy to hear, but that's how it's supposed to be and I'm so proud of him. But you know what? I don't want him to come home anytime soon anyway. I mean, I miss him. But there's so much more I want to do and need to do before he comes back! If he is the one we would be getting married before too long so I need to do everything that I'm going to do by myself...now. Also...tonight was the adult session of stake conference and I've been thinking...Maybe I'll go on a mission. I wouldn't see Seth for almost four years...and that would be really really hard...but I've already ran the idea by him and he's really supportive whatever I decide to do. Hmmm...we'll see. Something else to pray about. 

And one last thing...my roommate is starting to kinda date this guy in the singles ward...and tonight after she walked him outside she came back in the room and was just so happy she didn't even know what to say! And it was so adorable! All she could say was "It felt like.....home." And you know what? I knew exactly what she  meant. And I missed that feeling. A lot. I'm super excited for her though! They make a super cute couple and I can definitely see it working. Maybe...=) But gosh...I almost started to cry. I didn't let myself because I didn't want to drag down the mood because I am so happy for them! I love seeing adorable couples! I just missed feeling like that myself...that's all. 

Oh and one more thing...this guy I've been going on dates with? He asked me to stay here and not go to Arizona next semester....He's an awesome awesome guy. A returned missionary, great testimony, super cute, super fun, super athletic, he's got it all...But I just don't feel that "home" feeling. I don't feel the way I did with Seth. And I need that. So I said no. I'm still going to Arizona. And I still miss Seth.

On the Same Page...Oh yeah. And I'm moving.

Hey ya'll! So I know I've told you a lot about my other blog lately...but there's a reason. I really love blogging but the truth of the matter is, everything that passes through my mind and happens during my day doesn't have to do with my missionary. In fact, most things don't and I don't want that to stop me from blogging. So, I'm going to be mostly working on my other blog. Don't worry, I'll still post on here every once in awhile, but if you really want to know what's going on in my life you should definitely follow this one! I've been completely remodeling it and right now it may seem like a mystery as to why, but just you wait.There's meaning behind it and I think you will really love it. I know I do. So now, it's called The Yellow Glove. Stay tuned for an explanation.
Also, I received two letters from Seth today. Love them. Love him. Remember how I mentioned that we'd had a difficult discussion? Yes? Good. That discussion, was necessary though and now we both know, for sure, that we are on the same page. I'll let a quote from Seth himself explain.
"I hope when I get back that our Heavenly Father has the same thing in mind that I do. That we can get married and live together forever. That is my dream and my wish, but if it is not His wish then we will both find the person la cual Dios quiere que nos casemos." (Basically if it isn't His will we will each find the person who we are supposed to marry and will be happy.)
 That's exactly how I feel so it was a huge relief to know that he  agreed. Sometimes I feel like there's a lot of pressure that we have to work out and get married. Believe it or not, that's worse than the pressure I receive from others telling me that we aren't going to make it. Why? Because it's scary. What if we both change so much that the chemistry isn't there when he comes home? Not only will that be hard for us, but we will let down hundreds of other people spread throughout multiple states who are expecting us to be the "perfect couple." And the truth is, we aren't. We love each other, but we definitely aren't perfect people. I know I'm not. He knows I'm not. Still, I want things to work out. I want him to be the one for me. I want his family to be my family. But I need to know for sure so I'm glad that he supports me in dating others and being open to Heavenly Father's will.
Last but not least...I'm moving. Next semester I'm going to be living in Arizona and nannying for two little girls while still enrolled full-time at UNL in online classes. (So that I can keep my scholarship.) I haven't posted anything about it yet because I've wanted to keep it a bit of a secret until I was sure that that's what I was doing. I've prayed and fasted about it...a lot.  I'm going to miss my family like crazy and I hate to leave my roommate! I love Lincoln. I love my apartment. I love my friends and my roommate. I love the classes I was going to be taking. So I wasn't really too sure about leaving and basically putting my normal life on the back burner for a few months, but everything has fallen into place and worked out so perfectly and I've just felt good about it. I'm nervous, but I'm also very excited. I get attached to little kids super easy so I know I'm going to fall in love with these little girls within the first two days. I've enrolled in my online classes for next semester and I'll be heading down in about a month in a half. Wow. It's coming fast. I can already tell that this is going to be a huge growing experience for me and an adventure for sure! Arizona, here I come!

Dreams/Halloween

My bucket list is very extensive. One day I'll share it with you, but for tonight I'm too lazy and too tired to write another blog entry so go here http://theyellowglove.blogspot.com/2011/11/we-all-have-dreams.html I promise you will love the newest addition to my list. I'm considering joining my two blogs together as one so if you aren't a follower of my other blog, please become one! I will try to make it wonderful and exciting to read! It's currently under construction so if you see a lot of changes take place within the next few weeks, pay no attention.
Also, I went to a YSA Halloween dance last night and it was super fun! While others were beautiful princesses and cute bumble bees, I was busy being a total geek. (It's true. I actually worked all day on a paper for my Political Science class up until the very last minute before we had to leave when I submitted it.) I had a good ol' time as I always do at dances. Here's a couple of pictures and a tiny tiny taste of the amazing night which took place.

Pictured above is my awesomespice roomate! (And by awesomspice, I mean awesome enough to add that extra spice to life! I had to give that definition yesterday so thought I'd clear that up before ya'll got too confused.)

Near. Death.

Today I almost died. Yes, it's true. I almost died. This last weekend I went home to see my family and Seth's family as well. (They came to visit.) It was awesome and wonderful in every possible way! This morning when I was coming back to college, however, was not so awesome. 

I was just driving along minding my own business, doing normal 20 year old things like jamming out to N'SYNC and good ol' Christina and Brittany, you know, the whole gang. Then, up ahead I see a U-Haul truck cut off a semi. Next thing I know the semi is in MY lane literally about to run me over and crush me like a bug! Why he didn't take his own shoulder, I don't know, but for some reason he thought my side of the road looked a lot more appealing...even though I was clearly on it. All of dad's "what if" scenarios suddenly came flooding back into my mind and when I was forced into the grassy median, I knew to take it at a gradual angle. So even though I hit the grass going 80 mph, Floyd (my car) and I were both fine. Thank goodness for dad and his incessant preparedness and analytic discussions! Once the semi and other nearby cars passed I got back on the interstate, said a little thankful prayer, finished my drive to Lincoln, and immediately went to take a Spanish test which I aced. Then after class our bell tower played the Harry Potter theme song, which was pretty awesome, and I saw a guy who I was pretty sure was a paraplegic, but it turns out he can just stretch his arm really far behind his back and hold it there. So yeah. That's my day in a nutshell. It's a good one. 

Difficult Discussion.

Today I received an email from Seth...and we were able to email back and forth. Which was awesome. We talked about some...difficult subjects and I was reminded, even if things don't work out in the long run, who says things didn't "work out?" I have had the chance to have this awesome guy in my life and we have both grown and learned so much from each other that I'm just grateful for the time we spent together. Hopefully there will be more in store for us in the future...in 497 days. =)
For some more things I love...and believe me, there are a lot, go here:
http://theyellowglove.blogspot.com/2011/10/love-love-love.html

I Have a Confession.

I have a confession to make. I have been the worst letter writer of all time these last two months. I still send him at least one email every week, usually more, but I haven't sat down and sent something hand-written in awhile. Why? Because it hurts. More than seven months after he left, I'm okay and life is good. But there's something you should know: I'm a writer. That's just the way things are. So when I sit down to write a letter, it's not a one or two page letter. It's a minimum of four pages. Front and back.  Always. That takes time and it forces me to remember...oh yeah. I still miss him. A lot.  Sending emails, however, is quick and painless. I can let him know what's going on in my life and that I haven't forgotten about him without completely realizing that he's real...because let's be honest. It doesn't always feel that way. In a mixture of my words and the words of another MG...

Sometimes I think he is fake.

I have an imaginary boyfriend.

(Might as well get that out there...)

He used to be real.

At least I think he was.

It's just that...

It's been a while, you know?

I write letters to a man living in Argentina.

Supposedly.

Every month and a half I get a few letters;

and I remember that I know he is real.

I read his thoughts and I know he exists.

Then I wait.

But he doesn't stay real.

All of a sudden he's imaginary again.

Was there ever anything tangible to this?

I hardly remember what it was like having him here -

...he was here

...Right?

Sometimes I think I'll get so used to being apart from him,

I won't know how to be around him again.

And that's scary.

Assuming he's real.

And if he is, he's coming back, right?

Hopefully?

At least

I think hopefully.

I'm not really sure what it's going to be like when he comes back.

If he comes back.

It was great when he was here...

Right?

Or am I just remembering the good parts 

because that's all I want to remember?

We will be different...

and then what?

Will I still want him?

Will he still want me?

I think so.

I hope so.

Birthday Flowers =)

Last Friday I turned 20. I feel the same. I look the same. I am the same. However, I can no longer say I'm in my teens. I'm a full fledged adult and that is both scary and exciting at the same time. It's strange to think that my mom was married by the time she was my age...wow. Anyhow my birthday was a crazy day. I got three hours of sleep that night thanks to my excess amount of homework and then I had an exam which kicked me off halfway through and a presentation which I felt I could have done a much better job on if I hadn't been so flustered from running around campus trying to get things to work. Then I got to the institute and lo and behold...there were flowers awaiting my arrival. I had no idea who they could be from, maybe my parents? But no, somehow Seth and his dad had worked things out and I had flowers sent to me from my wonderful missionary halfway across the world. =) It completely turned my day around and everything was okay. And I knew, someone somewhere was always looking out for me and that's all I needed. 

Email Day!!

1) Wednesday was email day!! =) =) And I actually checked my email at the same time he was on so we got to email back and forth for a few mins! It was magical. I almost forgot how much I missed him.

2) We've made it past 7 months!! (I know I'm behind on my countdown..lo siento! I'll get there eventually!)

3)I'm turning 20 tomorrow! Wow...

Love Them. =)

Today was game day here in Nebraska. In case you didn't know. Which you should, because Nebraska is the most incredible place to be on game day. Anyway, Seth's dad called me this morning and told me that they, (he and Stephanie) were coming to Lincoln for the game! Was I excited? Why yes. Yes I was. So when they got here we went out to eat and afterward made our way to the stadium and went our separate ways, they went to the sky box and I headed for the student section. During the 4the quarter they got me up into the sky box and Oh.My.Goodness. It was so cool! I was so excited my heart was pounding as we opened the door to get into our box! (Warren Buffet watches the games from sky boxes. That's how cool it is.) As soon as we walked in there was a server who offered to get me ice cream. And there was tons of other food just sitting out for us. Not to mention the view! And the V.P. of the college was in there with us. It was just amazing. I will probably never be in one of those again, but that quarter was good enough for me. So cool! And I was so glad I was able to see Seth's parents again! They are such awesome people and I'd missed them. A lot. I love that family. Hopefully one day it will be mine. =)

6 MONTHS!!!

Friday was Seth's six months mark. (As well as my little sister's 10th birthday.) Six whole months have already passed since he reported to the MTC! Can you believe it!? I can't! Each day seems to take forever, but the weeks have just flown by.  I need to add another picture to my photo count-up on the side...I just haven't gotten that far yet. Anyway, in honor of this wonderful 1/4 mark I will share one of my favorite pictures of him on his mission and pieces of the latest letters I've received.
"I miss you. Thank you so much for the letters that you send me. I love hearing about your life and knowing that you are happy. Oh, you make me smile. =)"  (Smile by Uncle Kracker was our first "song," by the time he left we had quite a few added to that list. Is it weird that I haven't been able to listen to any of them yet?)
"Just so you know, whatever happens after the mission even if you are married to someone else remember that I will always be your friend, your best friend. And Elder Haslam, Elder Plank, Elder Tagge, and I all say Hi. I love you, Sierra!"
"You are amazing! Don't forget to study the scriptures cada dia." I love how he still  looks after me. lol I also love how our letters are 100% Spanglish.

Also, I wrote a letter to his companion a while ago and I got his response.
I asked what kind of missionary Seth was and he answered, "He is one of the best. He is progressing very fast and he really knows how to teach the people. I am learning a lot from him and I've got more than 4 times as much time as he does on the mission. He is going to be a great missionary."

Then asked what stands out about Seth to him and he said, "I'd have to say the spirit he has with him. He always brings the spirit when he teaches and he always is following the promptings."

I told him that Seth always used to love pulling pranks on me and teasing me and asked if he did any of that to his companion. His response? "Thankfully he hasn't yet but I think he might be planning one out as I write so thanks for the heads up. I'll be watching my back and sleeping with one eye open now." Haha...Oh, Seth...

And last but not least I asked if I was being a distraction. I really don't know what I would have done if he would have said yes, but I needed to be sure because I don't want to hinder the work and keep him from progressing. I also told him to watch out for Seth because sometimes he does some stupid things. lol He's a smart boy, but he's a boy nonetheless and we all know their brilliant ideas aren't always super safe. His companion told me, "No, you are not a distraction. We missionaries need a lot of support and love because it keeps us going when times get tough. He is focused so don't worry. I'm making him work so hard he doesn't have time to get distracted. Don't worry I'm watching out for your Elder Ramsay and I'll make sure he comes back with honor."

Oh gosh. I miss that boy. Lately I've been slacking a little bit and it's hard for me to remember what it was like when he was here. I know I was happy and content when I was with him and I know I haven't had that exact feeling since he left, but I've forced myself not to think about it for so long it's almost difficult to bring it back to the front of my mind. Sometimes it feels as if this missionary girlfriend thing is just a dream. It truly feels like I have an imaginary boyfriend. When I look at pictures of him, though, I remember. When I read his letters, it comes back. And when I truly think about my life without him, I can't. I know this will all be worth it, I just have to do this six month thing three more times and I have a feeling these next three times are going to be much easier than the first. Halfway mark, here I come.

Pure Awesomeness

Today I read something written by another MG that was AMAZING!!! I loved everything she said and so I'm going to share my favorite part with you (and highlight my very favorite of favorites). Because it's just that awesome.

"If you don't want to distract then add. Add to his testimony and mission! Put more focus on what he's doing... on things around him. I give him my opinion all the time on things he writes me. It feels right. I'm glad I write him once or twice a week, and only in emails really... because he is not my job right now and I am not his. We have two years roughly to prepare to enter perhaps the most sacred and binding covenants here and in heaven. It's a serious and frightening thing... Not only this, but you and your elder, have giant targets painted on your backs... because you want a family, a righteous family. Things are getting hard, and they'll get worse to get better. We're primary targets for the greatest evil on earth and we have two years to make ourselves strong enough to involve someone else into it... his feelings and emotions, his perfections and failures. If we don't become both women of strength and women of nurture, (to some one may come easier then the other...) we will be at risk. So I ask, what are you doing every day to build yourself up? How are you stronger today then yesterday? and most importantly of all, how are you building others? and how do you make sure you don't detract from his mission or his work? Because he is probably Satan's primary target right now and he'll hit him any way he can... He needs every bit of strength the lord can give him and it is our duty to give him that. We are daughters of a Heavenly King, we are made to fight this war in the name of all we care for. We do not just get the happily ever after, we get the bloody satisfaction of earning it, of working and fighting for it. We are not sit and wait princesses, we are go and do princesses. We have God given abilities to help win this battle over our own lives. But you need to actively do something. There is no possible way a celestial marriage may form from those who sit and stew. We need to actively ask the lord what is best and what we need to do... for ourselves and others. If it's hard? "Forget yourself and get to work..." or just work through it. It may not be an answer you like. But it will be the right one. 'sometimes the lord calms the storm. Sometimes the lord calms the sailor. And sometimes he just lets you swim.' We must actively search for the best thing to do for ourselves and our elders... not the most convenient."


Well put, my friend. Well put.

What is Waiting?

Okay, friends. Here's the deal, I'm going to vent in this blog post. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Missionary girlfriends. Missionary girlfriends are these awesome, patient people and I love getting to know each one of them that I come in contact with. Over cyber-space of course, I definitely don't run into them in person but somehow we all seem to find each other. They are all very supportive. But you see, there is a problem. Much of this elite group is often very close-minded. Not all of them, please don't assume I'm talking about you, dear reader, because, well, I'm probably not. There are some super super amazing girls who I have grown to love and, well actually that's all of them, but sometimes I just don't agree with everything.. Allow me to explain myself.

There are some girls who go on dates and realize that they are starting to get feelings for other guys after their missionary has been gone awhile. Another girl told of how her missionary told her in an email that he had heard a talk or something and felt like she needed to be dating other guys while he was away but he still wanted her to write him and be there when he got home. She was pretty upset about all of this and instead of trying to calm her down and have her see that he wasn't trying to hurt her feelings, he just wanted her to be happy and was letting her know that he trusted her, other girls responded with comments telling her that they would be super upset too and that she shouldn't go on any dates and she just shouldn't tell her missionary that part. Someone else had been talking to her mom and she (the mom) had told her (the MG) that she really needed to date while he was away, not only because she wanted her to be happy but she wanted her to know for sure that she was making the right decision by waiting. And let's face it, girls, it's a big, important decision. That's two years of our lives. The response to that one was that all the other girls had had the same conversation with their mothers when their missionaries had left. (Haven't we all?) A few of them told her to go ahead and start dating, it may even strengthen her love for her missionary and appreciating him more, but most of them advised this girl not to listen to her mother because they hadn't. They said that moms couldn't understand because they weren't going through it so they didn't really know what was best.

Okay. Now. What problem do I have with this? Well, I have a lot of problems with this. And there's a good chance you're going to have a problem with me, and that's okay but I think you've read thus far, you should hear me out. 1) Moms are smart. If there's anything I've learned in the past 19, almost 20 years, it's that my parents know what they are talking about. I don't always agree and I don't always want to listen, but they are right 99.9% of the time. So maybe, instead of blowing off their advice, we should take it. 2) We are not statistics, but statistics do have something to say. Most girls don't wait the whole two years because it's hard. If it was easy, there would be more than 7% who were still here when their missionary got home and more than that meager 3% who actually got married. Kudos to that small percentage! That is so impressive and inspiring and I really hope to be apart of it in 18 months! But you know what? The other 93% aren't bad girls. They aren't horrible girlfriends.  In fact, Seth's mother was a missionary girlfriend who ended  up falling in love and getting married to someone else while her missionary was away and I am soo grateful that she did! If she hadn't I wouldn't have the wonderful boy that I have today. Plus I love both of Seth's parents and I would be very sad if we didn't have Chip around. Anyway, sometimes Heavenly Father just has other things in mind and we don't know what those things are. Who are we to tell our Heavenly Father, "Um thanks but no thanks. I'm going to go with my plan for myself"? Good luck with that one. Sometimes we just don't understand how something so great, like our missionary, isn't the answer. Because that's the answer we want. I'll admit it, I'm afraid to pray about waiting. I'm scared because I don't want to know if the answer isn't Seth. I want so desperately for it to be that way. Yet, I'm well aware that that may not be the case. I'm one of those people that need to know for sure, 100%, that I'm making the right decision. If I'm supposed to be here when Seth gets back, I will be. (And believe me, I'm planning on it.) However, if Heavenly Father has another plan for me, I need to know. And for that reason, I've started dating. Let's be honest, dating is fun. And it's taken me 6 months to get started, but I'm glad I have. Now don't go getting your pantyhose in a bundle, (that's a weird old saying my grandma used to use) I'm not Dear Johning Seth. That's a letter I don't ever want to write. I've just been on a few casual dates. And for the first time in 6 months, I don't despise the weekends. Yet, there are people who are angry at me for this. Why? Heck, I don't really know. Quite honestly I have no clue what it has to do with them at all, these aren't even other MGs, but no matter what you do someone somewhere isn't going to approve and hey, that's life. But before you judge me and say I'm a horrible person for beginning to date, I say this: You go 6 months alone. You say goodbye to your best friend. You go without eating for weeks because you're so upset you make yourself sick and you cry yourself to sleep every single night for 3 months and on and off for the next 3. You live for letters that sometimes don't come for weeks at a time. Then you can tell me that I have no right to date or even be around another male. Then you can tell me that I'm supposed to stay locked up in my room for 2 years.
3) Going back the the missionary girlfriends, I think it's amazing how, in Utah, they all hang out together and go on little MG road trips and such. That's great! I wish I were there to do it too, I wish we all were. The fact of the matter is, we're not. Unless you live in Utah, it's very unlikely that there is another girl waiting for her missionary nearby. Heck, in Nebraska I'm lucky if there's another one in the whole state. If there is, I sure don't know about it. So if we aren't supposed to date, and we're expected to only hang out with other girls like us, what the heck are those of us who don't live in Utah going to do every weekend? Faithfully sit in our rooms and study and write letters and listen to sappy love songs for the full 2 years (and believe me, I did that for a fair share of these past 6 months)? I'm not bashing the idea of going on MG outings at all. I think It's awesome. I'm just saying, not all of us can do that.
Okay. I've got it out of my system. I'm sure I'm going to want to delete this as soon as I post it because I really don't want to offend anyone, but I won't erase it. I won't even edit it. Because I think it's important that we realize that waiting doesn't mean we can't be near anyone of the opposite sex. It means we will still be here when our missionaries come home and here, my friends, is where I intend to be.

Happiness in Poetry and Song

I actually already posted this on my other blog, but I'm pretty sure happiness is something we can never have too much of. So I'm posting it again. Anyway, this semester I am taking a poetry class and we had to read a myriad of poems and then choose one to which we would write a response of sorts. I really liked one called The Secret by Denise Levertov.

The Secret


Two girls discover
the secret of life
in a sudden line of
poetry.

I who don't know the
secret wrote
the line. They
told me

(through a third person)
they had found it
but not what it was
not even

what line it was. No doubt
by now, more than a week
later, they have forgotten
the secret,

the line, the name of
the poem. I love them
for finding what
I can't find,

and for loving me
for the line I wrote,
and for forgetting it
so that

a thousand times, till death
finds them, they may
discover it again, in other
lines

in other
happenings. And for
wanting to know it,
for

assuming there is
such a secret, yes,
for that
most of all. 


And here's my attempt at poetry...


In response to:
The Secret

There is a truth
universally known:
We want what we 
can't have.

Ageless beauty, endless life
sought after by all
and lost looking for
the Fountain of Youth

Temporary fix, forgotten troubles
late nights drowning in that liquid gold
but with the morning light
regret comes knocking.

Every cupboard and corner
is meticulously scoured
searching for that awe-inspiring treasure:
the key to happiness.

It is accepted 
that such a thing
does not exist
but...what if?

What if there was
a key to happiness, a secret
and we could have it?
Would we take it?

What if happiness was 
as simple as 
loving your neighbor:
your friends, your family, your God?

What if happiness was 
not about having what you want
but wanting what you have?
What if.


Well there you have it, my first poem of the semester. Keep in mind it's only a rough draft. Anyway, hope you liked it! Smile and be happy today! Remember, your Heavenly Father loves you and is always there for you if only you're willing to ask. President Obama gave a very good quote during his inaugural address. He said, "We will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist." That's how our Heavenly Father works. He is willing to help us, he is begging for us tolet him help us, carry us even. We just have to ask and allow Him into our lives. If you need a little something else to brighten your day, play the following song. It's a sure-fire way to put that extra bounce in your step and give you that feeling of "I'm awesome and I can do this!" 

Make it a great day! =)