Where I'm At

I'm sorry I've been gone so long...living in Arizona was...awesome. I loved it there. However, since I only lived there for six months, I wanted to live every moment that I wasn't working, even the moments when I was working. Not that I don't love writing and posting on here, but I figured that I would probably make more memories when I was actually out doing something rather than sitting inside writing on my blog. That's also a plus about not advertising on your blog, you can take a little break every once in a while and no one minds. Now that I'm finally home in Nebraska (I flew in last week) I'll be able to post again. 
So much has changed. So. Much. I have a boyfriend now, a decision that I made after a lot of thought and prayer. We have been dating for four months now and he's an amazing person that I have been able to watch change and grow since I first met him. 
I now have these two beautiful little girls that I have nannied since January and I love them. I love them so much that, sometimes, I feel like I may burst from holding too much emotion in my 5'4" body. I can't even imagine having my own children. How will I ever be able to handle even more love? As of now they are in Nebraska staying with their grandma for a week and a half and I have been able to see them every couple of days. I'm dreading Sunday when they have to go back home to Arizona. I'll probably cry like a baby saying goodbye to them. I'm about to start crying now. *Deep breath.* The hardest part is that they probably won't remember me in a few months, especially after I don't see them for probably two years.
Which leads me to the biggest change, I'm preparing to serve a mission. I have most of my paperwork done and I'll send them in in August. I cannot wait to find out where I'm going. It's still pretty surreal, but I'm excited and I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. This is the one time in my life that I have received a distinct, "Yes. That's the right decision, go ahead with it." And I've received it twice. How could I possibly deny that? I seriously thought about waiting for Seth to come home from his mission before I left for mine...I would really like to see him again...but I know that that would make it much harder for me to leave. And I know I need to.
So that's where I'm at right now. That's what is going on in my life. I'll fill you in on more later.