An Evening With An Inspiring Woman

That's her with an old picture of herself. Beautiful.

Who is this incredible lady of which I speak? Well, folks, she is someone very special to me and I love her very very much. She's my great great aunt. She's 92 years old and her name is Helen. She truly is a remarkable woman. Her mind is sharp as a tack and she remembers dates and details better than I can at 20 years old. She still bowls and shoots squirrels out of her backyard with a pellet gun when they start to eat her bird food. That Aunt Helen of mine is one feisty woman.

I eat lunch with her at least once a week and I'm so grateful to have her living here in Lincoln with me! Well tonight I was suffering from another bought of being anti-social, so I decided to go visit her. We had a wonderful time! First we watched a volleyball game (she is the biggest Husker fan of all time, that's how you know she really is my homegirl) after which I helped her make her fingernails beautiful (her one hand is too shaky to do it herself). Then we ate some delish ice cream and her specialty butterscotch cookies as we played a few rounds of cards. I told her all about the latest package I'm sending Seth and asked if she would like to say something to him in one of the videos I was sending on the SD card. She is DEFINITELY pro-Seth so she said yes. (She only met him once but she really liked him and she asks about him at least once a month if not more. Also, I think she mainly likes the idea of me waiting for him because she waited for her husband as well but I'll get around to that.) That inspired me to ask her more questions about her Pete and I asked if she had any old pictures we could look at. So we went downstairs and got their wedding photos. She had a little wedding book/journal in which she'd written every detail of their 1946 wedding and as I looked through it I read them all out loud to hear. Inside this little book was the toast which one of her friends, who has since passed on, gave at their wedding and then again the same exact toast at their 50th wedding anniversary. The writing was too small for her to read, so she asked me to once again read that special toast to her. How could I refuse? It all made me so happy, but at the same time so sad. 1- I loved being able to hold those old pictures. 2- I loved seeing what she looked like. 3- It broke my heart to hear her tell of her loved ones, including her husband, who had almost all passed away.  

She continued to tell me about Pete and how she waited for him while he went away to war...4 years. Holy cow. And I thought 2 years was bad. When she reminded me she had waited that long she looked at me and said, "you have a ways to go to catch up." Haha I hope I never have to! I don't know if I could handle that long! Anyhow, she had one picture of herself waiting by an empty mailbox which she told me she had sent to him and said "I didn't get a letter today." Oh goodness, Aunt Helen. I know how you feel. So yeah, he got back from overseas and they got married and lived happily ever after and now he has been gone for over 10 years. Every time I think about her being without him for that long I just want to cry. I once asked her if she still missed him a lot...I already knew the answer. "Oh yes. That sort of thing never goes away. It gets better but..." The pain is duller now but it never completely goes away. In a sense, I knew exactly what she meant. At least I thought I did, but then I realized Seth had only been gone for 8 months and she's been missing Pete for 10 years. I am so foolish to think I know anything about how she feels. 

After our wonderful story time I had to go, i had been over there since 6:30 and it was now past 11. Before I left she told me "I was hoping you would decide not to go to Arizona...I'm really going to miss you." I walked over to her and gave her the biggest hug. "I'm going to miss you too. I love you, Aunt Helen."   "I love you too, sweetie," she said. 

As I drove away from her house with a promise of returning tomorrow after church, I said a thankful little prayer. I am grateful that I have her still on this earth with me. I am grateful for the wonderful person that she is and for all of the lives that she has blessed. "Wow, Pete,"  I thought, "You were one lucky guy to be able to spend your life with her."  Then a very distinct thought came into my mind: They're not sealed. He can't have her for eternity, at least not with the way things are now. And I decided right then and there, someday I am going to be baptized for her. And I am going to seal them together. No other temple work will ever make me so happy. (Except for possibly getting married myself.) I can only imagine how happy they will be finally being sealed! My goodness, I've never been so excited to go to the temple and I can't even do the work yet! Someday though, I am going to do it. And it will probably be one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. I can already tell.

^Some of my favorites. I can't believe I forgot to put the mailbox picture in this group!^

Aren't they just adorable in that photo on the left!?! The picture on the right she sent to him while he was overseas (you can see in the corner she wrote "I love you") and he kept it the whole way through the war and all through their marriage and now that he's gone she has it again. Talk about tragically romantic, huh?

Most important points of the night:

a) I can make it two years. She made it through four and she's still alive and kicking.

b) Once again, I am so incredibly grateful to have the gospel in my life and know that I can be sealed to all of my family, including my future husband, for all of eternity.

What is Waiting?

Okay, friends. Here's the deal, I'm going to vent in this blog post. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Missionary girlfriends. Missionary girlfriends are these awesome, patient people and I love getting to know each one of them that I come in contact with. Over cyber-space of course, I definitely don't run into them in person but somehow we all seem to find each other. They are all very supportive. But you see, there is a problem. Much of this elite group is often very close-minded. Not all of them, please don't assume I'm talking about you, dear reader, because, well, I'm probably not. There are some super super amazing girls who I have grown to love and, well actually that's all of them, but sometimes I just don't agree with everything.. Allow me to explain myself.

There are some girls who go on dates and realize that they are starting to get feelings for other guys after their missionary has been gone awhile. Another girl told of how her missionary told her in an email that he had heard a talk or something and felt like she needed to be dating other guys while he was away but he still wanted her to write him and be there when he got home. She was pretty upset about all of this and instead of trying to calm her down and have her see that he wasn't trying to hurt her feelings, he just wanted her to be happy and was letting her know that he trusted her, other girls responded with comments telling her that they would be super upset too and that she shouldn't go on any dates and she just shouldn't tell her missionary that part. Someone else had been talking to her mom and she (the mom) had told her (the MG) that she really needed to date while he was away, not only because she wanted her to be happy but she wanted her to know for sure that she was making the right decision by waiting. And let's face it, girls, it's a big, important decision. That's two years of our lives. The response to that one was that all the other girls had had the same conversation with their mothers when their missionaries had left. (Haven't we all?) A few of them told her to go ahead and start dating, it may even strengthen her love for her missionary and appreciating him more, but most of them advised this girl not to listen to her mother because they hadn't. They said that moms couldn't understand because they weren't going through it so they didn't really know what was best.

Okay. Now. What problem do I have with this? Well, I have a lot of problems with this. And there's a good chance you're going to have a problem with me, and that's okay but I think you've read thus far, you should hear me out. 1) Moms are smart. If there's anything I've learned in the past 19, almost 20 years, it's that my parents know what they are talking about. I don't always agree and I don't always want to listen, but they are right 99.9% of the time. So maybe, instead of blowing off their advice, we should take it. 2) We are not statistics, but statistics do have something to say. Most girls don't wait the whole two years because it's hard. If it was easy, there would be more than 7% who were still here when their missionary got home and more than that meager 3% who actually got married. Kudos to that small percentage! That is so impressive and inspiring and I really hope to be apart of it in 18 months! But you know what? The other 93% aren't bad girls. They aren't horrible girlfriends.  In fact, Seth's mother was a missionary girlfriend who ended  up falling in love and getting married to someone else while her missionary was away and I am soo grateful that she did! If she hadn't I wouldn't have the wonderful boy that I have today. Plus I love both of Seth's parents and I would be very sad if we didn't have Chip around. Anyway, sometimes Heavenly Father just has other things in mind and we don't know what those things are. Who are we to tell our Heavenly Father, "Um thanks but no thanks. I'm going to go with my plan for myself"? Good luck with that one. Sometimes we just don't understand how something so great, like our missionary, isn't the answer. Because that's the answer we want. I'll admit it, I'm afraid to pray about waiting. I'm scared because I don't want to know if the answer isn't Seth. I want so desperately for it to be that way. Yet, I'm well aware that that may not be the case. I'm one of those people that need to know for sure, 100%, that I'm making the right decision. If I'm supposed to be here when Seth gets back, I will be. (And believe me, I'm planning on it.) However, if Heavenly Father has another plan for me, I need to know. And for that reason, I've started dating. Let's be honest, dating is fun. And it's taken me 6 months to get started, but I'm glad I have. Now don't go getting your pantyhose in a bundle, (that's a weird old saying my grandma used to use) I'm not Dear Johning Seth. That's a letter I don't ever want to write. I've just been on a few casual dates. And for the first time in 6 months, I don't despise the weekends. Yet, there are people who are angry at me for this. Why? Heck, I don't really know. Quite honestly I have no clue what it has to do with them at all, these aren't even other MGs, but no matter what you do someone somewhere isn't going to approve and hey, that's life. But before you judge me and say I'm a horrible person for beginning to date, I say this: You go 6 months alone. You say goodbye to your best friend. You go without eating for weeks because you're so upset you make yourself sick and you cry yourself to sleep every single night for 3 months and on and off for the next 3. You live for letters that sometimes don't come for weeks at a time. Then you can tell me that I have no right to date or even be around another male. Then you can tell me that I'm supposed to stay locked up in my room for 2 years.
3) Going back the the missionary girlfriends, I think it's amazing how, in Utah, they all hang out together and go on little MG road trips and such. That's great! I wish I were there to do it too, I wish we all were. The fact of the matter is, we're not. Unless you live in Utah, it's very unlikely that there is another girl waiting for her missionary nearby. Heck, in Nebraska I'm lucky if there's another one in the whole state. If there is, I sure don't know about it. So if we aren't supposed to date, and we're expected to only hang out with other girls like us, what the heck are those of us who don't live in Utah going to do every weekend? Faithfully sit in our rooms and study and write letters and listen to sappy love songs for the full 2 years (and believe me, I did that for a fair share of these past 6 months)? I'm not bashing the idea of going on MG outings at all. I think It's awesome. I'm just saying, not all of us can do that.
Okay. I've got it out of my system. I'm sure I'm going to want to delete this as soon as I post it because I really don't want to offend anyone, but I won't erase it. I won't even edit it. Because I think it's important that we realize that waiting doesn't mean we can't be near anyone of the opposite sex. It means we will still be here when our missionaries come home and here, my friends, is where I intend to be.

The Missionary's Girl

We are so much stronger than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. Hopefully this gives you strength and reminds you of exactly who you are!

The Missionary's Girl

Somewhere between the whirl of teen-age dates and the responsibility of matrimony, we find a lone creature called the Missionary's Girl.

They come in two varieties... engaged and hopefuls. They come in assorted sizes, weights, and colors, blue being the most common.

The missionary's girl is found at home, missing parties, staying away from dances, paying her own way to the movies, and buyingstationary by the gross.

Missionaries love them, young girls look up to them, parentstolerate them, postmen hate them, and weekly letters support them.

A missionary's girl is a composite. She has the appetite of a hormonally unstable 18-year-old girl, the enthusiasm of a wet noodle, the patience of Job, the persistence of a stainless steel salesman and the imagination of Scherazade.

She likes letters from the mission field, invitations to his home, long distance telephone calls, items for his scrapbook, pictures of him, and other girls who are waiting.

She isn't much for Saturday nights out on the town ; people who say, "Two years is a long time"; or “Don’t waste your time” or the classic “ so much can happen in two years” , new clothes with no one to wear them for; sad movies and music; movies with love scenes; knitting; wedding receptions; little sisters who date; calenders; and "Dear Janes."
A missionary's girl is an odd object: She can get lonesome, discouraged, and temporarily lose faith in the whole missionary system. No one else can write such cheerful letters in such a rotten mood. No one else can get such a thrill at the end of the day by the words, "Why yes, there is a letter for you." Nobody else is so early to bed and so early to rise. A missionary's girl is virtue with no chance to be otherwise, faith with twenty-four months to wait, prudence with 69 cents in her savings account, and beauty with no one to give a darn.

Yes, she is all this, but it will all be forgotten the day he receives his letter of release and, upon his arrival home she will probably utter the words she once considered trite, "It hasn't seemed like any time at all!"
~ Dan Valentine