My Plans For Tonight

It's a Thursday night...which is often one of the date nights here in good ol' Lincoln. Guess what I'm planning on doing? Curling up with a good old cup o' Postum and writing. Now, I'm not a total loser. I was asked on three different dates tonight...but I told all of them that I had other plans. Which isn't a complete lie.. It's not that I don't like dating, I do. And I'm not saying they're bad guys. They're not. I just...don't feel like it. I don't feel like dressing up all cute and acting like I care if the date goes anywhere or not. Tonight, I don't feel like making small talk or laughing at jokes that aren't very funny. So I guess I am a loser and I suppose I am slightly anti-social. Because I'm still sitting here with my laptop and my scribbled-in notebook. My roommate is gone because she, unlike myself, is on a date right now. (Which I am super happy about, by the way! She and this guy? Super cute.)  But as I was telling her goodbye and to have fun and all that good stuff I realized, as much as I don't want to do go out with any of the previously discussed gentlemen tonight...I don't want to be alone either. I want to be able to snuggle up in my warm jammies next to someone I am comfortable with. I want to sip on a hot chocolate watching a movie that makes us both laugh under a fort we made out of blankets. I want to waste the evening doing pointless things with my best friend. I want to be able to stay up late talking about things that actually matter and I want the person I'm with to understand. Tonight, I want to be able to be myself. There's only one small problem, the only people that I can do that with are my family and my missionary. And neither are here.