My Cup Runneth Over

Today I was thinking about blessings. Actually, everyday I think about my blessings. I have so many! First of all, my family is amazing, and not only my immediate family, extended too! I am close to almost everyone I am related to and they all are such a strength to me. My immediate family, however, is my greatest pillar of strength. My parents are always willing to help me through whatever I am going through whether great or small and I talk to them about anything and everything. Last night, for example, I had a terrible nightmare that my mom had died and it was my fault. It was horrible! It was one of those dreams that felt so real that when I woke up, I was upset and crying and, for the first time in probably ten years, I went and crawled in bed with my mom and dad...and they let me. Awesome parents? Yeah I know. =) Then there are my younger siblings, three sisters and one brother. My brother Steele has no brothers, so I have played the "brother" growing up. Therefore, naturally, he and I are extremely close. One of my best friends, the other being Seth, is my sister Sapphire. She and I did everything together before I went to college...everything. Sports, speech, drama, band, double dates, and just hanging out together. We share clothes, a room, memories, and DNA. When I come home, we still are inseparable  but I sometimes miss always being together. She actually has a blog of her own and it's all about the two of us and the awesome bond that we have! http://mysister-myfriend.blogspot.com/  Then there are my youngest two sisters, Shylo and Sequoia. Shylo is a lot like I am and Sequoia acts like Sapphire. They haven't discovered that they are each other's best friends yet, but they will. Sapphire and I are working on teaching them...they're starting to get it. (Since we're always in pairs this is how mom calls us: Sapphire and I = girls!  Shylo and Sequoia = little girls! and Steele = Steele. Poor kid. No buddy system for him!) Another blessing that I've spent a lot of time thinking about this summer is the beautiful earth we have to live on! Isn't it amazing?! Living in this little valley I am surrounded by so much lush green land. I love looking over the hills and seeing the myriad of greens from different fields. The other night I was riding in the back of a truck with my little sisters and I was showing them, first the lights in the sky which form the constellations, and then the hundreds, if not thousands, of lights on the ground: the fireflies. I showed them that if you looked in the trees and ditches, there were sometimes so many fireflies that it looked like the earth itself was sparkling. I just can't get over how incredibly beautiful it is here! I know I've lived here all my life, but wow! How blessed I am to live in a place where I can see the stars in the sky and open, rolling hills covered by fireflies and fields. A few days later I was driving with Sapphire as the sun was setting and once again I admired the beauty of it all. It was one of those very pink and purple sunsets that seem to wash everything in a pink hue and make it look romantic. (I know I sound like a hippy or tree-hugger here, and maybe I am, but seriously! Look around you and pay attention and I think you will experience the same feelings.) Last but not least, I definitely have to count Seth being on a mission as a blessing. Yes, it's tough, but it has blessed both he and I in numerous ways and I have the support and love of his family which is AMAZING.  Plus, as far as trials go, this a pretty good one to have. If I could swap with anyone...I wouldn't. I wouldn't trade any part of my life. Is it perfect? Of course not...but it's pretty darn close. Like I said before, I am extremely blessed. My cup runneth over.

The Curve of Happiness

You know how, when you're learning something new, you do really well at first and then not so good for awhile and THEN you really get it and start progressing quickly? Well happiness is kind of like that sometimes. So, instead of the learning curve, it could be called the happiness curve. Or the curve of happiness. I like the sound of that better. In a way, it's like a roller coaster.
So what brought me to this conclusion? I was walking through a field the other day, chopping away at weeds, when I realized just how far I'd come since Seth left. I still miss him. A lot. Everyday. I still break down and cry sometimes. The difference is that now the moments of weakness pass quickly and overall I am much happier.
Lets start at the beginning, part one of the happiness curve: doing well. Before Seth's two years began I felt like I was the luckiest, happiest girl on the planet...because I had a great family, great friends, and an amazing boyfriend. Then he left and part two began. Driving away from his house after his farewell, knowing that I wouldn't see him again for, yes I know, a long time, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I was grateful that my dad was driving the car because I may have wanted to turn around and go back, I did want to. The next few weeks were...rough. I was so upset I didn't want to eat or be around anyone besides Seth, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. My days were all pretty much the same for awhile. I cried myself to sleep, woke up, cried some more, went to class (where my classmates probably thought I was emo because, on the really bad days, I'd wear my hood up so people couldn't see me cry on and off throughout class.), come back to my dorm room between classes and cry some more. I know, I was a baby. I tried to control it, I really did! I just couldn't seem to get over how much I missed my best friend. I'm sorry this all sounds so mopey and depressing, but don't worry, the good part is coming. The best advice I'd ever received about the situation was from a former MG who told me the most helpful thing she did was pray. So, I prayed all the time. Once as I drove I had a nice three hour conversation with my Heavenly Father. It really did help!
About a month and a half or so after Seth reported to the MTC I somehow got this idea that all I needed to do was start casually dating and then I'd be happier. After all, I thought, Seth had told me before he left that he wanted me to date because he wanted me to be happy. A friend told me it was about time to get back into the dating scene and another MG told me that the time flew by faster when she dated. That was the key, I was just sure of it. That mindset lasted about two weeks.
Since then I have gone on a few dates and I have had a really good time. If anything, though, these have reassured me how much I love my missionary. More than anything they increase my appreciation for what I have, even if I have to wait for it awhile. I know it isn't fair to those who I go on dates with, but I cannot help but compare them all to Seth, in every way. My mind is always racing with thoughts like "Seth doesn't dress like that. He wouldn't say that. This guy doesn't look like Seth." Truth of the matter is, he's not Seth. No one is. I won't find my "Seth" for 19 more months because he is in South America. And you know what? I'm okay with that.  I am so proud of him! I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm finally on step three: I get it. The best part is that as Seth is out growing as a person and increasing his testimony in the Lord, Jesus Christ, I am too. When he returns we will both be better, stronger people more fit for our lives together. So for now I am going to read and re-read his letters. I am going to immerse myself in the role of a missionary girlfriend and try to keep up with him as he becomes the man I want and need. Most of all, I am going to enjoy the ride. After all, I'm heading up on the curve of happiness and the view only gets better from here. =)

Dancing in the Rain

Tonight as I drove home with my mom, aunt, and little sisters, it began to pour...bad. We were right in the middle of a lightning storm, which I loved because, if you know me, I loove rain and lightning. (When I was a little girl all of my family would crowd onto our front porch swing and cuddle under blankets to watch the lightning or hail or even just the rain whenever it would start to storm. I'm sure this is why I still love them so much today.) Though we couldn't hardly see in front of us as we drove through the pelting rain, I couldn't help but think how beautiful and magical lightening is and how fresh rain smells. I love the smell right after a storm, probably one of my favorite things. So where am I going with all of this talk of rain and lightning? Well Seth knew how much I loved storms and I once told him that I always loved in old movies when they would dance in the rain. He told me that whenever it rained when we were together he would take me outside and dance in the rain with me. Well, the whole first year we dated it never rained once when we were actually together. Crazy right? He even pulled me into a sprinkler once to simulate the effect. After we'd been at college together for about a week though, we finally got our chance.
He had been at my dorm and we had been doing homework and just hanging out together and then it started getting late so he left to walk the 10 minutes back to his dorm for the night. Well I walked him to the elevator and said goodnight and then continued on down the hall to the bathroom where I would brush my teeth and wash my face. So I got my face washed and was in the middle of brushing the ol' pearly whites when I heard Seth's voice yelling my name. Scared me so bad I think I may have swallowed a little toothpaste. I turned around and there he was poking his head into the girls bathroom. (Luckily I was the only one in there at the time.) "What on earth are you doing in our bathroom?!" I asked. He excitedly told me, "It's raining, Sierra! Hurry come outside! We can finally dance in the rain like you always wanted!" So, I left all of my toiletries on the counter and ran outside with him and we danced in the rain for a few minutes before I went back to my room and he ran to his. He made sure that, no matter what, I was going to get my dream. Pretty cute, huh? I'll never forget that. =)

The Swan Princess and other Fairytales

Last night I was watching the Swan Princess with my little sisters and now that I'm older there are quite a few things that stand out to me. First of all, did you all know the creator of Swan Princess is LDS? Pretty cool huh? Makes sense when you think about it, after all the main song is called Far Longer Than Forever. Once when I was younger I watched all the way through the credits at the end of the movie and stumbled upon a music video called Eternity by Dreams Come True. I love it! (That, by the way, inspired me to watch past the credits on all of my favorite movies for the rest of my childhood.) Really though, who else besides Mormons use the word Eternity? I once read a quote that said, referring to Twilight, only vampires and Mormons love forever. Made my day. =) Anyway, it makes sense doesn't it? I don't know about you but I found this guy that I'm crazy in love with and I want to know that I'm going to be able to keep him for more than "til death do us part." If I didn't know that I could, I don't think I would have been able to  give him up to the Lord for 2 years. Which, though the hardest thing I've ever done, was also the best. My testimony grew so much after Seth left on his mission and I began understanding my Heavenly Father and His love for me much better. (Not saying that I completely understand Him because, believe me, I don't.) 

On that same note with fairytales and what not I was looking through a scrapbook of one of my old Young Women Presidents earlier this week and it was so adorable I just wanted to cry! She is married to a RM and has a little baby boy and is so in love with her wonderful husband. It is so inspiring to me and I cannot wait until I can have the same thing with my missionary! Also, Pres. Uchtdorf gave the most amazing talk titled Your Happily Ever After. I loved it so much I have it saved on my i-pod! Not only is it super inspiring, but it's also super cute because he tells how he met his wife! Here's a little taste of it..."You are truly royal spirit daughters of an Almighty God. You are Princesses destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your once upon a time is now." Awesome right?!? I know! Read it! You'll love it. Promise.

Well off to bed, I have to work in...seven hours so I suppose it's about time. Night!

You know you're a MG if:

*The mailman/woman knows what you are looking for everyday in the mail and tells you if you got a letter or not
*You take pictures with the intention of sending them to your missionary.
*You can't even hold your boyfriend in your dreams cause somehow the mission rules creep into dreams as well
*You check the weather for a city you don't even live in...everyday
*You check the news headlines for a city you can't go to
*You check your email 500 times a day on P-day
*You know exactly how long it takes for your letters to be sent to your missionary!
*You also know exactly how long it takes for his letters to get to you!
*You know your missionary's address my heart, because you've sent him so many letters.
*You walk around walmart looking for cute package ideas to send him
*Mothers day is right up there with Christmas now, even though you aren’t a mother.
*If someone ever told you to learn patience you would freak out...if anyone knows patience...it's us
*Here you are all grown up and you feel like you have, yet again, an imaginary boyfriend
*You don't wear your favorite perfume cause it was also HIS favorite perfume...so you save it to spray on letters
*You hold off 2 years on seeing a movie because you know that he would love to see it with you.
*You know exactly how long he has been gone, and exactly how long until he gets back.
*Calls from his family get almost as exciting as calls from him
*You find yourself wearing your hair the way your missionary BF likes it, even though he isn't around to enjoy it.
*you have a box full of letters sitting in your room and whenever you really miss your missionary you read them.
*Your screen saver and/or your desktop picture is pictures of both of you...or just him.
*You wonder if you'll ever have enough time or money to make up for two years worth of lost memories.
*Your youngest brother prays - BY NAME - for your missionary in family prayers. (true story!)
*You have a newfound interest in anything foreign—anything from Argentina for instance .
*Even your friends know when email day is and get excited for you giving high-fives and and talking about it all day.
*you have at least 3 calendars & they all are counting down to the day when your missionary comes home.
*you buy stamps in bulk.
*just hearing someone mention something about missionary work gets your complete attention.
*After a few months, you subconsciously begin planning your wedding.. looking at dresses, figuring out invitations..
*You look for excuses to drive past the temple because it inspires you to keep holding on to him!
*The people at the post office recognize you and know you by name.
*if you go out and do things sometimes just so you can tell your missionary you did them so he thinks you're doing alright...
*every time something exciting happens you think hmm....I wish he was here.
*You look at the time; then figure out the time difference; then wonder what he's doing at that very moment
*You are walking in the mall and you pass a tie rack.. somehow now you’re walking backwards to look at the ties and possibly buy one.
*You kiss the stuffed animal or promise ring he gave you before he left every night before bed
*The day after he leaves you decided you need to get in shape for when he gets back home.. hahaha
*You have deep dislike for anyone that laughed after you have told them you have a missionary
*You plan out the outfit you'll wear when you finally get to see him again
* You have your life planned out until that day in which he returns.. then you've got nothing but hope.
*You find yourself accidentally calling his number because you've dialed it so much
*You eat a skittle every night...or do something of the sort to help pass the days
*you have a gazillion countdown clocks on every imaginable place to put them.
*Not only do you have countdown clocks, but also count up clocks
*Your room is filled with pictures of your missionary and some guys you don't know
*Buying stamps is suddenly almost as exciting as buying new shoes.
*Your weeks no longer start on Sundays, they begin the day of the week he left, it helps you keep track of just how long he's been gone... Sometimes you wish you could get a calendar that starts on that day of the week too.
*You are one of the few girls who would rather NOT talk about her boyfriend to people you just meet because you know they are all pretty much going to tell you the same thing the last person said when you say they're gone on a mission, "you know, two years is a long time, a lot can happen...." etc... haha. (like we didn't know two years is a long time... sheesh)
*You now hate those firesides where the talk is all about getting married as soon as possible, but just go for refreshments and suffer through it.
*During the day you think about what you're going to write him in the next letter.
*you are constantly defending the fact that you have a boyfriend that you won't see for 2 years
*any time you see a guy in a suit you get excited because it might be an MG's missionary!
*if you run into the house squealing your family doesn't even ask- they already know why- you got a letter!
*you have a stuffed animal he gave you that you sleep with every night
*you want to beat halo 3 because you know how excited your missionary would be that you beat it
*you say things that only other girls waiting for a missionary would say and not think is absolutely ridiculous like "ONLY 673 days left!"
*you know what an MG is!!!