Stupid Windstream

Sorry for being MIA for so long. Our internet is down and being stupid and this is like the 50th time in the last 3 months so....yes. I officially strongly dislike windstream. They kinda suck. Okay. I'll try to be more positive now.
Tomorrow I fly down to Arizona with ma daddy to check things out so I most likely won't be posting for the next few days either, or maybe I will. At night. I'm not really sure yet. Anyway, if you don't here from me soon, lo siento. I'll be guest posting tomorrow over at Girls With Curls for my other blog, The Yellow Glove.
So go check it out! It'll be grand! And wish me luck with my flight and upcoming adventure! (Also with my internet problems so I don't have to go to the creepy Village Inn down the street to submit homework assignments anymore.) Ciao!

A Few Things:

1) My letter was returned. Apparently I have to fill out some stupid custom forms which I forgot about so...I'll be doing that tomorrow.

2)It's the day after Thanksgiving!!! And that means that the Christmas music can begin without a fight. I LOVE Christmas! I love the decorations, I love the music, I love the overall atmosphere, and of course I love the true meaning of Christmas. So yeah, I'm pretty excited about it. In case you can't tell.

                     a) Last Christmas I went with Seth's family to Indiana and it was amazing and I loved it. So, of course, I'll be missing him big time. However, I am excited to spend this Christmas with my family and get back into our old traditions. 

b)Yesterday, after filling my stomach with turkey and pie, we played paintball. And it was awesome and I forgot how much I liked it.

3)Left at 6 am and drove my brother, sister, her boyfriend, and our foreign exchange student to go to the Husker football game today. What's that you say? Why yes. As a matter of fact we did win. Thank you for asking. =)

4) No. I did not go Black Friday shopping. I am not crazy. I don't really like shopping in the first place let alone risking my life to do so. That's why I'm still here to write this post.

Got 'Er Done

I finally sent my letter/package thing today!! 

When he opens it he will find...

2 letters

2 paisley ties (his favorite pattern)

2 random notes

1 full memory card

It was too fat! I literally had to shove it down the chute. 

I would also like you to observe:

a)there is $2.50 worth of postage on that baby

b) how nicely it is decorated with random stickers...even though you can't really see that

(My personal favorites are the Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go stickers. I told him they were there to help his espanol in case he didn't know words like maravilloso and muy bien jaja...oh forgive my spanglish. I mean marvelous and very good haha.)

Muahaha! Probably thought i was sharing something juicy with you, didn't you?! Not a chance. This is just the shortest, last little clip I filmed before sending the SD card off to him. And you already knew I loved him so nothing new there!

Blog of a Mission President

So turns out Seth's mission president has a blog! I have started following it and President Heyman seems like a really amazing guy! I cannot wait to (possibly/hopefully) someday meet him. I love reading about experiences that Seth has previously related to me and, since Seth works in the financial office, he spends a lot of time with President Heyman. Even though he has no idea who I am, I still love to read Pres. Heyman's posts and have that connection to Seth, even if it is a minute one. I keep hoping that one of these days something about him will be posted...I know there's a lot of missionaries in the field but hey, a girl can wish. Here's to hoping!

An Evening With An Inspiring Woman

That's her with an old picture of herself. Beautiful.

Who is this incredible lady of which I speak? Well, folks, she is someone very special to me and I love her very very much. She's my great great aunt. She's 92 years old and her name is Helen. She truly is a remarkable woman. Her mind is sharp as a tack and she remembers dates and details better than I can at 20 years old. She still bowls and shoots squirrels out of her backyard with a pellet gun when they start to eat her bird food. That Aunt Helen of mine is one feisty woman.

I eat lunch with her at least once a week and I'm so grateful to have her living here in Lincoln with me! Well tonight I was suffering from another bought of being anti-social, so I decided to go visit her. We had a wonderful time! First we watched a volleyball game (she is the biggest Husker fan of all time, that's how you know she really is my homegirl) after which I helped her make her fingernails beautiful (her one hand is too shaky to do it herself). Then we ate some delish ice cream and her specialty butterscotch cookies as we played a few rounds of cards. I told her all about the latest package I'm sending Seth and asked if she would like to say something to him in one of the videos I was sending on the SD card. She is DEFINITELY pro-Seth so she said yes. (She only met him once but she really liked him and she asks about him at least once a month if not more. Also, I think she mainly likes the idea of me waiting for him because she waited for her husband as well but I'll get around to that.) That inspired me to ask her more questions about her Pete and I asked if she had any old pictures we could look at. So we went downstairs and got their wedding photos. She had a little wedding book/journal in which she'd written every detail of their 1946 wedding and as I looked through it I read them all out loud to hear. Inside this little book was the toast which one of her friends, who has since passed on, gave at their wedding and then again the same exact toast at their 50th wedding anniversary. The writing was too small for her to read, so she asked me to once again read that special toast to her. How could I refuse? It all made me so happy, but at the same time so sad. 1- I loved being able to hold those old pictures. 2- I loved seeing what she looked like. 3- It broke my heart to hear her tell of her loved ones, including her husband, who had almost all passed away.  

She continued to tell me about Pete and how she waited for him while he went away to war...4 years. Holy cow. And I thought 2 years was bad. When she reminded me she had waited that long she looked at me and said, "you have a ways to go to catch up." Haha I hope I never have to! I don't know if I could handle that long! Anyhow, she had one picture of herself waiting by an empty mailbox which she told me she had sent to him and said "I didn't get a letter today." Oh goodness, Aunt Helen. I know how you feel. So yeah, he got back from overseas and they got married and lived happily ever after and now he has been gone for over 10 years. Every time I think about her being without him for that long I just want to cry. I once asked her if she still missed him a lot...I already knew the answer. "Oh yes. That sort of thing never goes away. It gets better but..." The pain is duller now but it never completely goes away. In a sense, I knew exactly what she meant. At least I thought I did, but then I realized Seth had only been gone for 8 months and she's been missing Pete for 10 years. I am so foolish to think I know anything about how she feels. 

After our wonderful story time I had to go, i had been over there since 6:30 and it was now past 11. Before I left she told me "I was hoping you would decide not to go to Arizona...I'm really going to miss you." I walked over to her and gave her the biggest hug. "I'm going to miss you too. I love you, Aunt Helen."   "I love you too, sweetie," she said. 

As I drove away from her house with a promise of returning tomorrow after church, I said a thankful little prayer. I am grateful that I have her still on this earth with me. I am grateful for the wonderful person that she is and for all of the lives that she has blessed. "Wow, Pete,"  I thought, "You were one lucky guy to be able to spend your life with her."  Then a very distinct thought came into my mind: They're not sealed. He can't have her for eternity, at least not with the way things are now. And I decided right then and there, someday I am going to be baptized for her. And I am going to seal them together. No other temple work will ever make me so happy. (Except for possibly getting married myself.) I can only imagine how happy they will be finally being sealed! My goodness, I've never been so excited to go to the temple and I can't even do the work yet! Someday though, I am going to do it. And it will probably be one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. I can already tell.

^Some of my favorites. I can't believe I forgot to put the mailbox picture in this group!^

Aren't they just adorable in that photo on the left!?! The picture on the right she sent to him while he was overseas (you can see in the corner she wrote "I love you") and he kept it the whole way through the war and all through their marriage and now that he's gone she has it again. Talk about tragically romantic, huh?

Most important points of the night:

a) I can make it two years. She made it through four and she's still alive and kicking.

b) Once again, I am so incredibly grateful to have the gospel in my life and know that I can be sealed to all of my family, including my future husband, for all of eternity.

Poo Raisins

Yes, I realize that I have already posted tonight and yes I realize it was not even 2 hours ago but I have a story to tell so shut your face.

So I bought this memory card to fill and send to Seth...in August. It is now November and I still haven't sent it. The problem is that I lost it for awhile...and when I finally found it I watched all of the videos I had recorded onto and thought "Wow. These are incredibly stupid. There's no way I'm sending this." So I deleted them all off, and the last couple of weeks have been working on filling the card once again. Well tonight I ran out of memory!! I know this isn't usually a happy occasion, but this time it is because now I can finally mail it to him! (Plus I have some ties that have been patiently awaiting this little love package as well.) Anyway, I got so excited about being able to send the letter that I started decorating the little manila bubble envelope straight away. Then I realized I needed stickers. I already had Christ stickers because the postal workers in Argentina are thieving little guys and steal stuff out of my letters...but apparently they are superstitious as well and if you put pictures of Christ on the envelopes they won't steal your junk. (Practically as miraculous as the bread and fish thing eh?) So those stickers come in handy, but I wanted something that made him laugh. Let's be honest, as much as I love Christ, his face doesn't make me bust a gut. And that's a good thing. So I decided it was absolutely vital that I ran to the Dollar Tree right now. So I did. I got me a few different sticker books and then I decided to look around a bit. I looked for Pokemon cards for Seth, because he used to love them and I just know there's something deep inside of him just itching to hold one in his hands again. Not that he would play them on his mission, but I know he'd get a good laugh out of them. But alas, Dollar Tree doesn't sell Pokemon cards, believe me, I looked all over that store. All I found was some farm animal collector cards. Who wants to collect little cartoon drawings of farm animals? "Trade my goose for your pig." "Why would I want your goose? It can't even provide me with bacon." Also, the bulls had utters. That's not okay, city folk. Not okay.
Then I saw a pair of awesome glasses, you know, the ones with the nose attached? Yeah. These.

And I knew I had to have them.

Then as I was checking out I saw chocolate covered raisins. And I'm sorta obsessed with chocolate raisins. And it was a big bag for only $1! So I got them as well. In all of my impatience, I started to munch on them as I drove. "Yuck," I thought, "these raisins taste like poo." But I couldn't stop eating them! It's as if the disgusting poo raisins had some sort of power of me! So I choked them down all the way back to the apartment. And then I rushed back inside to blog about it.

Yes. These are the culprits.

Go Ahead. Feast Your Eyes.

 I figure it's been awhile since I've reminded ya'll how handsome my missionary is. Just thought I'd share the wealth.  (But only to a certain degree, ladies. Remember, he's still mine. haha)

My goodness look at those blue eyes! Love them. Love him.

My Plans For Tonight

It's a Thursday night...which is often one of the date nights here in good ol' Lincoln. Guess what I'm planning on doing? Curling up with a good old cup o' Postum and writing. Now, I'm not a total loser. I was asked on three different dates tonight...but I told all of them that I had other plans. Which isn't a complete lie.. It's not that I don't like dating, I do. And I'm not saying they're bad guys. They're not. I just...don't feel like it. I don't feel like dressing up all cute and acting like I care if the date goes anywhere or not. Tonight, I don't feel like making small talk or laughing at jokes that aren't very funny. So I guess I am a loser and I suppose I am slightly anti-social. Because I'm still sitting here with my laptop and my scribbled-in notebook. My roommate is gone because she, unlike myself, is on a date right now. (Which I am super happy about, by the way! She and this guy? Super cute.)  But as I was telling her goodbye and to have fun and all that good stuff I realized, as much as I don't want to do go out with any of the previously discussed gentlemen tonight...I don't want to be alone either. I want to be able to snuggle up in my warm jammies next to someone I am comfortable with. I want to sip on a hot chocolate watching a movie that makes us both laugh under a fort we made out of blankets. I want to waste the evening doing pointless things with my best friend. I want to be able to stay up late talking about things that actually matter and I want the person I'm with to understand. Tonight, I want to be able to be myself. There's only one small problem, the only people that I can do that with are my family and my missionary. And neither are here.

The Difference Between Then and Now

I've been thinking lately...It's crazy how I missed Seth when he first left and I still miss him now, but I feel completely different! I am happy! (And let's be honest, people. Those first few months? I was not a happy camper.)  I feel as if these two years apart are just as important for me as they are for him. I am nowhere near the person I was when he left 8 months ago...I'm better. I've grown so much and I can tell that he has too! I am so excited to get to know him all over again when he returns in 16 months. I love him I love him I love him. Do I know that we are going to get married and be sealed for all eternity? No. Of course I don't. But I do know that it's a definite possibility.

He knows all of my flaws and mistakes I've made in my life...and he accepts and loves me anyway. I think it's also important to note, I know that he isn't a perfect person either. We are long past that initial stage of puppy-love where omygosh everything they do is so amazing and perfect and romantic and you're floating on a pink fluffy cloud because *sigh* you were just meant to be in love. No no no...don't get me wrong, I love that stage! It's new and exciting! It's a lovely stage in the beginning of every relationship, but we're not in that anymore. We haven't been there in a long time. We've been together for over 2 years and we know very well that we aren't perfect people and we aren't a perfect couple. Yet, we love each other.

The greatest thing Seth ever did for me was encourage me to date other people when he left. It showed that he trusted me, but most of all it showed that he loved me enough to give me up if that's what would make me happy. Turns out, it was also the greatest thing he could do for himself. Now that I have dated around a little in these past couple months, I realize that there are a lot of really great guys out there. The weird thing is, I'm not attracted to any of them like I was/am to Seth. Either they don't have the characteristics and standards that I find essential or I just feel absolutely no chemistry. Or both. And I think that's because I have such high expectations for them. Sorry to say, (okay, I'm actually not very sorry at all) no one else has made the cut. This whole dating thing has made me even more sure of the one that I want and that confidence is vital. Let's face it, who I marry? That's going to be the biggest, most important decision I'm ever going to make. I want to be sure that I'm making the right choice. So far, I think I am. =)

P.S.- I got to email chat with him for a little while today...I am one happy girl.

I Still Miss Him.

Wednesday I was able to email back and forth with Seth for a little while. Some days I barely recognize the person he's becoming...We have both changed so drastically. But for the better. Hearing from him was the reassurance I've needed...Yes. I definitely still love him. I just can't remember what it was like to have him here...so sometimes I need that little reminder. Also, I was very excited because, for months before Seth left, I tried to get him to style his hair. And he refused. And I was frustrated because I knew how cute he'd look! (I already thought he was cute, but you know what I mean.) He told me that he never styled his hair and he never ever would in all of his life. Well guess what? He's started styling his hair. Ha. And now he has even asked me for more ideas about what I think would look good so I've recently become obsessed with short hairstyles for men and have sent his multiple photos for him to consider. He has been trying them out this week, at least that's what the plan was. What a cutie. =)

The next day, Thursday, Seth's dad came to Lincoln. I was able to spend some time with him and gosh, I love that man. I love how I can be very honest and upfront with Seth's parents. They know I'm dating other people and they still love me anyway and are supportive. We also talked about how much Seth loved his mission and how he didn't want to come home, which isn't always easy to hear, but that's how it's supposed to be and I'm so proud of him. But you know what? I don't want him to come home anytime soon anyway. I mean, I miss him. But there's so much more I want to do and need to do before he comes back! If he is the one we would be getting married before too long so I need to do everything that I'm going to do by myself...now. Also...tonight was the adult session of stake conference and I've been thinking...Maybe I'll go on a mission. I wouldn't see Seth for almost four years...and that would be really really hard...but I've already ran the idea by him and he's really supportive whatever I decide to do. Hmmm...we'll see. Something else to pray about. 

And one last thing...my roommate is starting to kinda date this guy in the singles ward...and tonight after she walked him outside she came back in the room and was just so happy she didn't even know what to say! And it was so adorable! All she could say was "It felt like.....home." And you know what? I knew exactly what she  meant. And I missed that feeling. A lot. I'm super excited for her though! They make a super cute couple and I can definitely see it working. Maybe...=) But gosh...I almost started to cry. I didn't let myself because I didn't want to drag down the mood because I am so happy for them! I love seeing adorable couples! I just missed feeling like that myself...that's all. 

Oh and one more thing...this guy I've been going on dates with? He asked me to stay here and not go to Arizona next semester....He's an awesome awesome guy. A returned missionary, great testimony, super cute, super fun, super athletic, he's got it all...But I just don't feel that "home" feeling. I don't feel the way I did with Seth. And I need that. So I said no. I'm still going to Arizona. And I still miss Seth.

On the Same Page...Oh yeah. And I'm moving.

Hey ya'll! So I know I've told you a lot about my other blog lately...but there's a reason. I really love blogging but the truth of the matter is, everything that passes through my mind and happens during my day doesn't have to do with my missionary. In fact, most things don't and I don't want that to stop me from blogging. So, I'm going to be mostly working on my other blog. Don't worry, I'll still post on here every once in awhile, but if you really want to know what's going on in my life you should definitely follow this one! I've been completely remodeling it and right now it may seem like a mystery as to why, but just you wait.There's meaning behind it and I think you will really love it. I know I do. So now, it's called The Yellow Glove. Stay tuned for an explanation.
Also, I received two letters from Seth today. Love them. Love him. Remember how I mentioned that we'd had a difficult discussion? Yes? Good. That discussion, was necessary though and now we both know, for sure, that we are on the same page. I'll let a quote from Seth himself explain.
"I hope when I get back that our Heavenly Father has the same thing in mind that I do. That we can get married and live together forever. That is my dream and my wish, but if it is not His wish then we will both find the person la cual Dios quiere que nos casemos." (Basically if it isn't His will we will each find the person who we are supposed to marry and will be happy.)
 That's exactly how I feel so it was a huge relief to know that he  agreed. Sometimes I feel like there's a lot of pressure that we have to work out and get married. Believe it or not, that's worse than the pressure I receive from others telling me that we aren't going to make it. Why? Because it's scary. What if we both change so much that the chemistry isn't there when he comes home? Not only will that be hard for us, but we will let down hundreds of other people spread throughout multiple states who are expecting us to be the "perfect couple." And the truth is, we aren't. We love each other, but we definitely aren't perfect people. I know I'm not. He knows I'm not. Still, I want things to work out. I want him to be the one for me. I want his family to be my family. But I need to know for sure so I'm glad that he supports me in dating others and being open to Heavenly Father's will.
Last but not least...I'm moving. Next semester I'm going to be living in Arizona and nannying for two little girls while still enrolled full-time at UNL in online classes. (So that I can keep my scholarship.) I haven't posted anything about it yet because I've wanted to keep it a bit of a secret until I was sure that that's what I was doing. I've prayed and fasted about it...a lot.  I'm going to miss my family like crazy and I hate to leave my roommate! I love Lincoln. I love my apartment. I love my friends and my roommate. I love the classes I was going to be taking. So I wasn't really too sure about leaving and basically putting my normal life on the back burner for a few months, but everything has fallen into place and worked out so perfectly and I've just felt good about it. I'm nervous, but I'm also very excited. I get attached to little kids super easy so I know I'm going to fall in love with these little girls within the first two days. I've enrolled in my online classes for next semester and I'll be heading down in about a month in a half. Wow. It's coming fast. I can already tell that this is going to be a huge growing experience for me and an adventure for sure! Arizona, here I come!

Dreams/Halloween

My bucket list is very extensive. One day I'll share it with you, but for tonight I'm too lazy and too tired to write another blog entry so go here http://theyellowglove.blogspot.com/2011/11/we-all-have-dreams.html I promise you will love the newest addition to my list. I'm considering joining my two blogs together as one so if you aren't a follower of my other blog, please become one! I will try to make it wonderful and exciting to read! It's currently under construction so if you see a lot of changes take place within the next few weeks, pay no attention.
Also, I went to a YSA Halloween dance last night and it was super fun! While others were beautiful princesses and cute bumble bees, I was busy being a total geek. (It's true. I actually worked all day on a paper for my Political Science class up until the very last minute before we had to leave when I submitted it.) I had a good ol' time as I always do at dances. Here's a couple of pictures and a tiny tiny taste of the amazing night which took place.

Pictured above is my awesomespice roomate! (And by awesomspice, I mean awesome enough to add that extra spice to life! I had to give that definition yesterday so thought I'd clear that up before ya'll got too confused.)