What is Waiting?

Okay, friends. Here's the deal, I'm going to vent in this blog post. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Missionary girlfriends. Missionary girlfriends are these awesome, patient people and I love getting to know each one of them that I come in contact with. Over cyber-space of course, I definitely don't run into them in person but somehow we all seem to find each other. They are all very supportive. But you see, there is a problem. Much of this elite group is often very close-minded. Not all of them, please don't assume I'm talking about you, dear reader, because, well, I'm probably not. There are some super super amazing girls who I have grown to love and, well actually that's all of them, but sometimes I just don't agree with everything.. Allow me to explain myself.

There are some girls who go on dates and realize that they are starting to get feelings for other guys after their missionary has been gone awhile. Another girl told of how her missionary told her in an email that he had heard a talk or something and felt like she needed to be dating other guys while he was away but he still wanted her to write him and be there when he got home. She was pretty upset about all of this and instead of trying to calm her down and have her see that he wasn't trying to hurt her feelings, he just wanted her to be happy and was letting her know that he trusted her, other girls responded with comments telling her that they would be super upset too and that she shouldn't go on any dates and she just shouldn't tell her missionary that part. Someone else had been talking to her mom and she (the mom) had told her (the MG) that she really needed to date while he was away, not only because she wanted her to be happy but she wanted her to know for sure that she was making the right decision by waiting. And let's face it, girls, it's a big, important decision. That's two years of our lives. The response to that one was that all the other girls had had the same conversation with their mothers when their missionaries had left. (Haven't we all?) A few of them told her to go ahead and start dating, it may even strengthen her love for her missionary and appreciating him more, but most of them advised this girl not to listen to her mother because they hadn't. They said that moms couldn't understand because they weren't going through it so they didn't really know what was best.

Okay. Now. What problem do I have with this? Well, I have a lot of problems with this. And there's a good chance you're going to have a problem with me, and that's okay but I think you've read thus far, you should hear me out. 1) Moms are smart. If there's anything I've learned in the past 19, almost 20 years, it's that my parents know what they are talking about. I don't always agree and I don't always want to listen, but they are right 99.9% of the time. So maybe, instead of blowing off their advice, we should take it. 2) We are not statistics, but statistics do have something to say. Most girls don't wait the whole two years because it's hard. If it was easy, there would be more than 7% who were still here when their missionary got home and more than that meager 3% who actually got married. Kudos to that small percentage! That is so impressive and inspiring and I really hope to be apart of it in 18 months! But you know what? The other 93% aren't bad girls. They aren't horrible girlfriends.  In fact, Seth's mother was a missionary girlfriend who ended  up falling in love and getting married to someone else while her missionary was away and I am soo grateful that she did! If she hadn't I wouldn't have the wonderful boy that I have today. Plus I love both of Seth's parents and I would be very sad if we didn't have Chip around. Anyway, sometimes Heavenly Father just has other things in mind and we don't know what those things are. Who are we to tell our Heavenly Father, "Um thanks but no thanks. I'm going to go with my plan for myself"? Good luck with that one. Sometimes we just don't understand how something so great, like our missionary, isn't the answer. Because that's the answer we want. I'll admit it, I'm afraid to pray about waiting. I'm scared because I don't want to know if the answer isn't Seth. I want so desperately for it to be that way. Yet, I'm well aware that that may not be the case. I'm one of those people that need to know for sure, 100%, that I'm making the right decision. If I'm supposed to be here when Seth gets back, I will be. (And believe me, I'm planning on it.) However, if Heavenly Father has another plan for me, I need to know. And for that reason, I've started dating. Let's be honest, dating is fun. And it's taken me 6 months to get started, but I'm glad I have. Now don't go getting your pantyhose in a bundle, (that's a weird old saying my grandma used to use) I'm not Dear Johning Seth. That's a letter I don't ever want to write. I've just been on a few casual dates. And for the first time in 6 months, I don't despise the weekends. Yet, there are people who are angry at me for this. Why? Heck, I don't really know. Quite honestly I have no clue what it has to do with them at all, these aren't even other MGs, but no matter what you do someone somewhere isn't going to approve and hey, that's life. But before you judge me and say I'm a horrible person for beginning to date, I say this: You go 6 months alone. You say goodbye to your best friend. You go without eating for weeks because you're so upset you make yourself sick and you cry yourself to sleep every single night for 3 months and on and off for the next 3. You live for letters that sometimes don't come for weeks at a time. Then you can tell me that I have no right to date or even be around another male. Then you can tell me that I'm supposed to stay locked up in my room for 2 years.
3) Going back the the missionary girlfriends, I think it's amazing how, in Utah, they all hang out together and go on little MG road trips and such. That's great! I wish I were there to do it too, I wish we all were. The fact of the matter is, we're not. Unless you live in Utah, it's very unlikely that there is another girl waiting for her missionary nearby. Heck, in Nebraska I'm lucky if there's another one in the whole state. If there is, I sure don't know about it. So if we aren't supposed to date, and we're expected to only hang out with other girls like us, what the heck are those of us who don't live in Utah going to do every weekend? Faithfully sit in our rooms and study and write letters and listen to sappy love songs for the full 2 years (and believe me, I did that for a fair share of these past 6 months)? I'm not bashing the idea of going on MG outings at all. I think It's awesome. I'm just saying, not all of us can do that.
Okay. I've got it out of my system. I'm sure I'm going to want to delete this as soon as I post it because I really don't want to offend anyone, but I won't erase it. I won't even edit it. Because I think it's important that we realize that waiting doesn't mean we can't be near anyone of the opposite sex. It means we will still be here when our missionaries come home and here, my friends, is where I intend to be.